I’ve been thinking a lot today about leaving my job, daydreaming of the perfect one and considering what I could do to get there but no matter what avenues my mind walks down I keep getting to that dead end. The end of the line where everyone seems to be waiting for me to belittle me some more. I’ve taken such a confidence beating in the five years I’ve been working there that I’m barely me at all.
I was pondering on my recent infatuation with luxury and designer wares after beginning my new book Coco Chanel The Legend And The Life. I’ve always been in love with the biographies of the classic designers or artists particularly the ones who rose from the gutters with their talents saving them from poverty. It fills me with so much envy. Just imagine knowing what you want to be from the start and fighting for it your whole life, from barely making any money to creating the most famous fashion label in history, the most famous painting. You have to admit it is admirable, even if you don’t follow fashion or art.
Ofcourse whenever fashion came into subject at college I would enjoy it, they would do little taster sessions and mini activities to get you to broaden your abilities and look at your work from another perspective, it’s something that I always wished I had switched to instead of fiddling around with bits of paper and ink splodges for five wasted years. There were so many more possibilities in fashion that I never saw at the time, but I see them now, way way over in the distance well out of my reach.
So I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to work in a shop that sells branded items and whether I’d be treated better somewhere like that, whether the people would be more bearable if they weren’t bringing in their junk and just buying something or browsing silently instead. Those shops where they serve tea on a sofa while you discuss handbags. Oh it makes me laugh just thinking about it! Imagine pleasant conversation at work and nobody barking orders ‘get me this, get me that’, somewhere people have manners. I suppose it doesn’t really exist but I did say it was a day dream didn’t I? Well it is, because as much as I’d wish to work somewhere better I just know that for whatever reason, be it my appearance, experience etc they would always have an excuse to not give me a chance.