I’m at my breaking point. Five long years of ‘Yes ma’am no ma’am, no we don’t have that in that colour’ and I am one more box of junk away from losing my shit at the next sexist comment and ultimately losing my job.
It’s pay day today… I’ve not noticed yet. My little money is sucked away by direct debits and prospective food shopping before I get time to think about having fun with it. Don’t get me wrong, I think my pay is pretty decent but at the end of every month I’m hungry for more, needing extra to run away to London for the day or buy something that I want rather than what I need. Living without fresh meat for a week for Estée Lauder or swapping sweet treats for a drive to the country gets a bit tired. I need more than what I have to be content.
I know it makes me seem extremely superficial but I desire to travel too and with that comes expense, even on a long drive I’d need fuel let alone food to eat when I got there, and that seems more out of reach than a new handbag with my small funds so that’s why I buy make-up and products, because I can’t afford to do what I really want.
Wouldn’t it be fabulous to have a new job every year? To try absolutely everything so you could say that you know what you want to do rather than guess what you’d hate to do and avoid it at all costs. It may be the most perfect job for you but because someone told you it didn’t suit them you ran away screaming from any opportunity to try it out.
I’d love to change every year, of course still jobs of my choosing, and ones I could keep if I wanted, but to be able to say every new year ‘I can’t wait for my new job to start’ rather than keep living this rejection nightmare year after year would be my dream right now.