Monday in a nutshell; hate job, ponder existence and where it all went wrong. Birth? Teenage years?when I took my current job? I wish someone could look back at my life for me and point out exactly where I made the mistake and say “here, fix that there and you will be happy again” or “here you should have made that decision not this one.”
Maybe the problem is me, I can never stay anywhere for longer than five years, I get agitated and stir crazy performing the same monotonous tasks day after day for five years, that’s how I quit art. One day I cut the ties, held my hands up and surrendered with no fight left. I’ve definitely lost my fight for this job but I can’t think of anywhere to go or anything that I can do that I won’t get sick of in five years – not to mention anywhere that will employ me!
I’m sitting in the corner of a dark place waving my white flag for no one to see, cold, tired and sobbing into my sleeve while searching on Google for a miracle with the other hand. I feel hopeless, utterly hopeless.