I was relying on my Mothers newest business venture to save me from my current circumstances but as of yesterday that dream is lost and I don’t know what to pin my hopes on now. Not one single person is willing to give me a chance to escape here and show them what I’m really made of. Right now I’m that timid child beaten into a corner and that is all they see when they interview me, but that is not me, that is just what they have made of me.
I’m certain that I am not where I am supposed to be but nobody will let me out, I cannot leave until I secure another job so I’m stuck in this cycle.
We’ve been watching West World and as the final episode looms I’m finding myself upset at how I seem to be relating to the characters. They search for something for the whole series to finally find it only to be told “I can’t help you”. It may be my hormones but at that moment I burst into tears, feeling the endless search for an answer only to find an empty safe after being given the combination to nothing. What do I do now?
I feel like a puppet being controlled and told to endure while they stab me in the back with their hidden agendas, poison me, burn me alive then get me back in their office, press a few buttons and tell a few lies to me then send me on my way.
I don’t want to be lied to anymore. I don’t want to be told that I belong here when I don’t.
I want to help people, I want to make their lives better, not smile and hold their coats while they verbally abuse me and throw their money at me across a counter.