Gas Mark 5 for 1 Hour & 50 Minutes (+ 40 Minutes)

Ready, set, GO!

Christmas Day 2016 started at 7:30am in the damp dark of middle England, with no time for a shower but just enough for a bowl of porridge and the opening of a handful of presents before the four hour long zig zag car journey to my family. With no make up on, and my product filled hair from the night before, I turn the key and ignite my anxiety. Here I go.

My Dad was two hours late and that pushed me back, my turkey sat on the drainer at home waiting to be wedged into a tiny oven, and I had visions of throwing it in the bin and giving up, my mood swings taking over at the disruption of my time frame. We sat doing nothing as we waited and waited for everyone to turn up.

 There were so many presents from so many people who shouldn’t have spent their hard earned money on me, and I spent the afternoon feeling guilt from not putting as much thought into my gifts for them. Booze, chocolate, toiletries, that was all I got for people. No care or concern unless the recipient was diabetic in which case they would unwrap bubble bath and soap. I have an obsession with Succulents and Cacti’s so my cousin bought me a tiny one inside a plastic dome for my keys how did they know I would love that?? 

The dinner was three hours late due to a butchers poor instruction on cooking times, my vegetables and yorkshires all ready and quickly cooling on the counter, I was feeling like a failure and tried my damned hardest to conceal it with a careless smile. Inside I could’ve shrivelled from failing at a simple task but I wouldn’t show it. I sat at my slate place setting with the candles flickering behind my orange juice filled wine glass and waited forty more minutes for my turkey to turn white. I would not be defeated by a chunk of meat!

At five thirty we finally sat down and my rushed, crazy Christmas Day was done, completed with a hefty plate of food. I kept my cool the whole day, I was impressed with myself for not breaking down over the lumpy gravy and burnt sweet potatoes (accidentally bought instead of parsnips). 

We finished the day watching Avengers: Age Of Ultron and eating chocolate fudge cake and ice cream on our laps in the living room. I’ve had more exciting Christmases before but they were all tiring, often uncomfortable and formal. This year I was sat in joggers and a big fluffy jumper. I’m not sure yet which I prefer…


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